Thursday, April 9, 2009

I'm not afraid of you and I will beat your ass

It dawned on me the last day that at the moment, for the first time in an age, I'm absolutely loving my running. I can't remember the last time I've come in from a long run and thought "thank god that's over - I couldn't have lasted another minute". There's no worry about this Sunday's 20 miles - the first time I'll have covered that distance while not running in an actual marathon since... uhm... 3 years, maybe 4? Hell, I'm within 4 weeks of the marathon and I haven't really started thinking about the race itself - it's as if it's a formality to round off 12 weeks of training. To be honest I'm probably more nervous about next weeks 10k then I am about the marathon.

It's got to a stage where I'm so relaxed about it all that I don't really have a goal for the marathon. All I'm looking for out of it is to run well and I know that if I run well, as well as I'm capable of, I'll get the time I deserve. Obviously at the back of my mind I know there's a time I'd like to get - I believe I'm capable of running under 2:40 this time out. How far under 2:40 is a whole other question which I'll let the running gods decide on! At the end of the day if I finish the race with 2:41 but know that I gave it everything then I really won't care. For the first time I think I'm seeing the marathon as just another race. If it goes well - sweet. If it doesn't go well then what's actually changed? I'll have banked some solid miles in training that'll act as a solid base. Sure there'll be plenty of races over the summer and autumn. This marathon is not the be all and end all.

This is a feeling I'd love to bottle up for them low moments of running. Maybe it's just the changes in the clocks and getting to run in day light that's seen my attitude change. Although last summer I don't remember enjoying my running. In fact it was quite the opposite - Track racing didn't agree with me at all. It was my first time racing 3000m and 5000m and I hated it. Saying that, I'll be back in the summer for my revenge - That damn track owes me some times! There was that fleeting thought back then as to whether or not I could be arsed to continue putting in the training. Thankfully the first road race after the track saw me take a healthy chunk from my 10k time and them thoughts disappeared quick smart.

Whether it's the brighter evenings, the fact that I'm so happy with my training that weeks are flying by without me noticing, or a combination of both, I'm just glad to be enjoying this running lark more than I ever have. CR always says to me "Let me worry about the thinking, you just keep running" - never have I been happier to have someone else do the thinking for me.
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